Tony Robbins likes to say that when things don't go your way it's not due to a lack of resources, but rather a lack of resourcefulness. For instance, it's an easy out to say, "Things would have worked out differently if I'd had more time, money, help, approval, etc." You fill in the blank. I like to point out a similar realization using different wording. For instance, I sometimes use the word nonviolence.
What could nonviolence have to do with this line of argument, you ask? Well, allow me to first point out the following: when you are experiencing a problem or a situation that is crying out for a solution, the universe provides the resources that are needed.
Science has recently been discovering what traditional medicine systems have known. Namely, that this principle can easily be seen in nature. If an environment has a particularly challenging characteristic, an aspect of the flora/fauna of that environment will address that characteristic. In areas where the climate is very hot we find cooling foods. In the tropics, for example, we often find one of the most cooling foods known to man, the coconut (so cooling, in fact, beware of drinking coconut water in less than hot climates; you'll end up feeling very, very cold!). In places with particular bacterial or parasitic populations, you'll find plants that address issues caused by those very bacteria and parasites.
As if these solutions were not amazing enough, the universe can create solutions out of anything. No matter what the problem, the solution can be found nearby. This is not only a law of nature, but a law of the universe. The solution can come in the form of a medicine recommended by a friend or neighbor, an unexpected gift, a suggestion uttered, or even a change of perspective. The solution can literally come in any form. And this applies to all problems, from the most physically dire medical emergencies to the most complex and subtle conflicts. One could even go as far as to quote Funkadelic, "You can find the answer. The solution lies in the problem."
In a family system where someone exhibits addiction, mental illness, anger management issues, depression, auto-immune diseases, etc. the very manifestation of the disorder is a sign of the very imbalance that wants to be addressed. The universe wants balance. It's our job to both discover and not resist the change necessary. In order to allow the solution to enter our lives, first we have to see it for what it is. For this we have to be very watchful; solutions are often hiding in plain sight. Then we have to not resist the solution.
Here is where nonviolence comes in. Many a time we are running away from our problems, or we are seeking solutions from afar, which is actually similar to running away from our problems. We generalize our problem to our entire situation and want a solution from outside of our situation entirely. This means not only are we resisting our problem, we are resisting the solution lying within our problem and we are being violent. Violent how? By shoving aside our lives in an attempt to live problem free.
Of course, everything in life depends on our perspective. If our perspective says that the universe does not provide solutions, then the universe will, seemingly, not provide solutions. If you maintain this perspective and you accept the reality that the universe does not provide solutions, then where is the violence? The perspective and the outcome are the same after all, right? Well, you may be okay with an inert universe that does not provide solutions, but you are still not okay with a universe that provides problems. That is where the violence comes in. You want to cut that part of life out. You resist it.
But alas, the universe does provide solutions. Sometimes they even arrive as changes of perspective. Who knows, this blog post itself could be the vehicle for that very change of perspective, provided by a universe that always delivers.